a Favorite

Once in a While
Originally uploaded by **{{LisaLisaLisa}}**

This is one of my favorite photos of all time. I really need to get some of my photos printed and hung up in my home but I always put it off. Maybe I should just DO IT. What do you think?

Pumpkin love

Pumpkin love
Originally uploaded by **{{LisaLisaLisa}}**

Happy Halloween

Hi everyone (like there's more than one person reading this...hahahaha)
Happy Halloween!

I don't know what to write today besides hi and have a great evening too.

It's not as easy as you think

When you are in a situation and other people tell you how to handle it...it's not as easy as they might think. There are always complications. You can have almost the same set of circumstances as another person but when you look at them...they seem entirely different.

Recently I realized that I should not be the judge of anyone but myself. None of us know how we are going to handle a situation and we all do the best we can at the time it's happening. It might be so easy for your best friends to tell you what to do and how to do it. But they aren't you. Even if they have lived something similar.

The interesting part for me is that an opinion that I might have held 10 years ago may not still be true. THAT amazes me. It's true what people say. You do get wiser as you get older. I used to LAUGH at that statement thinking I was just plenty smart at the age I was but ohhhh I had no idea. No idea that time and circumstances could change everything about the way I look at something.

Lessons learned the hard way are LIFE LESSONS. Some people learn their lessons easier than others with hardly a blip on the radar of stress or discomfort. I don't seem to be one of those people. I seem to continue to be faced with very very similar things in life over and over. Obviously my life has everything to do with learning these lessons even if I have to re-do them a jillion times and then get slapped between the eyes one more time for good measure.

Take marriage for example. hahahaha (maniacal laughter) I so totally SUCK at being married. It's true. I have realized this over the years that I'm not successful at it. For those of you that have been successful at marriage for ANY length of time...you should be damn proud of yourselves. Especially if you have any kinds of complications whatsoever. (which we all do)

I think I'm not tough enough. I'm not kind enough. I'm not patient enough. I'm not tolerant enough. I'm not selfless enough. I have a strong need to retreat and lick my wounds when the train derails. I am just stubborn enough to stay in the wound licking position for much longer than others think I should.

I'm not a bad person. I just don't do some things well. Isn't that how we all are? Like for example...I don't draw well. I doodle like a champ but actually drawing...HELL NO. Am I creative? well yes I am. But only in certain ways.

I am starting to feel that way about my relationships in life....can I be married well? HELL NO...but am I loving and fun and sexy? well yes I am.

See there?

hola peeps,

Well here is the dresser....and me taking the photo of it....pretty girlie huh?

I like it. Lots.

yay.

:)

The new Dresser

Oh I am excited. You can be sure of that. Two weeks ago my mom and I took off for a jaunt to a flea market in a small neighboring town (about 20 miles away) and we were told the place was going out of business. Well. Well Then. When your in a junk shop and you hear something like this...it's like a dream come true for those of us who "junk" (action verb!)

So....I found this old style kind of shabby chic/retro vanity/dresser. Hard to describe (photo to follow soon) and it has this great big round mirror on it that is fantastic. It's not the most useful thing in the world but it has four drawers and it makes me happy EVERY time I look at it. It's so girlie. That's probably my favorite part about the whole thing. How very girlie it is! I can envision my granddaughters sitting at this vanity looking in the big mirror and powdering their faces.

My mom, who loves to buy for others, said...."do you really want that piece of furniture??? If so I'll get it for you for Christmas!" Mind you it's October...but I nodded yes smiling big. I knew it would make her feel better to do something for me now that I'm in my new place. She keeps asking me what I need. I can never think of anything. (besides wanting someone to crap out about a million dollars for me but I don't think my mom ...or anyone else for that matter....is gonna do that...LOL)


anyhow....so this past weekend my very wonderful friends Jason and Christina went to pick it up with me (they have a truck). I can't thank them enough because if not for them the thing would still be sitting 20 miles away.

I am just thankful. I am thankful that people care enough about me to help me and do things for me to make me happy. I will be happy about this for a long time to come. It's supurb for me. Totally.

My bonus was getting to spend time with Logan (Christina and Jason's son) and see his sweet little face. He melts my heart.

The next nice thing I can do for someone I'm doing it right away because being nice to others reaps great rewards.

come

come a little closer
Originally uploaded by **{{LisaLisaLisa}}**

Come a little closer indeed....

a good laugh

a good laugh
Originally uploaded by **{{LisaLisaLisa}}**

When I need to think about how great life is I look at photos like THIS ONE! OMGOSH I love these two. My sister in law Andrea and my niece Amy. I'm so lucky that there are people in my family that "get it".

hehehehe thanks for making me smile again today girls. It works every time!

safe travels little laptop

My laptop is on it's way to Ft. Worth for a new hard drive. Goodbye to any old stuff I might have accidently left unchecked on the old hard drive. Sigh. I guess if I don't remember it I won't miss it. Safe travels little laptop.

All I can think about

Sometimes one certain thing gets stuck in my thought process. When that happens watch out. I am sure everyone is like this. I wouldn't call it obsession but it's certainly relentless mind behavior sometimes.

Over and over and over I play it in my head, wondering if there is another solution.....or a better way.....or if I should be thinking aobut it at all. Then there is the concept of letting it go altogether which is a whole other can of worms.

What makes us like that? What makes other people able to forget things and just move on and then WHAT makes a person oblivious to it all and not even notice the same thing right under their noses? Interesting. or Aggravating. Depends.

Right now I am wondering about a situation that I have no control over. Those are the worst. The things you really wish you could fix or change but somehow that is just not possible.

So you just cope. The best you can. For that day.
And try to think about all the good things in your life right now.

:)

I must not be a good person...or.....how to say NO 101

Well tonight after coming home from work I was eating my (gasp) Mcdonalds meal number #6 with the extra large coke (yes that's really good for the bladder right?) and talking to my friend C on the phone about the happenings of the day. We solve a lot of problems on the phone before and after work. Anyhoo....she's driving home with her little son with her and I'm eating and talking on the cell and my door bell rings.
(
I don't have a window or a peep hole or any way to SEE who is at my door. Normally it's someone I know. key word NORMALLY.

So since I still have C on the phone I open the door and I really try not to be a bad person but this person looked like well....not someone you would really want to be around. She started out by saying "I know you don't know me but I need a ride to Walmart". She didn't say for what she just said Walmart.

I told her no. For one thing I don't know her and for another she looked...well....like someone I didn't want to get mixed up with. My parents tell me I always drag in the strays. (they are probably talking about men I think....) but I digress. Anyhow I thought about that because my mom and I had just talked about this on Saturday how I'm a fixer and that I really am a helper kind of person.

Well today I must be a bad person or I had one nerve left after the paperwork hell I was submerged in for 8 hours but I told her no that I had plans and couldn't take her to Walmart.

You must be wondering what my plans were. Well they were (are) selfish plans. I must not be a good person. I am in the mode of being selfish. I had been home all of about maybe 5 minutes and was just biting into my #6 double cheeseburger and I already had my "jammies" on. For those of you that don't know I never leave the house in my jammies. Well...unless I"m going to Mel's which is less than a mile away. Anyhow....my plans were to eat that burger, sit on my ass and not do anything for anyone.

My job consists of doing stuff for other people ALL DAY LONG. I honestly didn't have it in me.

I am embarassed to admit it but C was on the phone trying to figure out what my address was in case she needed to call 911 real fast...(she could hear this whole thing) and I just thought...no...you are right. I don't know you. I can't fix you lady. I can't even fix my own marriage. I can't fix myself a lot of the time. What makes you think I'm qualified to get involved in your life at all? I was also thinking to myself (I'm sure she could see the wheels spinning....but I am not sure) if I do this ONE TIME that will be it. She will want me to do it again and again and again.

I'm sorry she doesn't have a car and lives four miles out of town. I honestly think she started walking and went to the first house she came to which is mine. I'm sorry she needed to go to town. I'm sorry she doesn't know anyone. But I cannot fix everyone.

Ask anyone that knows me...once I get home and strip down and the bra comes off I can RARELY be coaxed into stepping foot outside my house. I am a total home body.

So I told her no and what did she do....she tried to CONVINCE ME AGAIN why I needed to just drop her off at Walmart then I could go about my business. Sigh.

Now mind you if she'd been in obvious distress I would have probably done "something" although at this point I don' t know what.

Most of the time I go through life absorbing and taking on other people's issues, their problems and I become their solution. I'm becoming more choosy these days about what I do and I've chosen today. I've chosen to take care of me.

So call me selfish. I don't care.
I fret about other people too often.
I wonder how they will get things worked out.
How their lives will turn out.
I lose sleep over people making bad life decisions.

I am so DONE with it. Now it's time for me to take the "say NO 101" class of life.
And I did it.

Birthday Boy

I forgot to say that my first born child turned 26 yesterday and I thought about him all day long.
I am so lucky to be his mom. Love you B.

The solution

The solution is not going to be so easy. This computer debacle. Sigh. I am probably getting a new hard drive but I have to pack up my 'puter and send it to a service center. Which makes me nervous but I AM SO TIRED of fighting with this thing...!!!!

The next solution will be getting over this nagging feeling that I have a UTI. (hahahaha) bladder infection for those of you who don't know what UTI is. I feel certain ...LOL.

The solution at work will come when we hire two new people.

The solution in my marriage and separation is probably right in front of me.

The solution about money? Not solved yet.

The solution about this great big other thing that I am always thinking about....time will tell.

The solution usually comes when it's damn good and ready.
I need to remember that. We are really not the masters of the time in our lives.
we really aren't.

We just think we are.

The solution to my tired eyes is to close them as soon as humanly possible.

Sweet dreams .
xoxo

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder how life gets so turned around.
Sometimes I wonder about how thinking about something can perhaps make it be.

You know...like the Secret. Thinking things into becoming your reality. It "is" an interesting read.

If that were the case....(and it could be...I am not ruling it out) I would have a few more things in place right now. But maybe it's just a matter of timing. I am hopeful.

I am hopeful that in time I will have some questions answered.
I am hopeful that in time I will know why some things are.
I am going to try to be patient and follow my heart.

After all isn't that the best way to live? It is for me.
My heart tells me the truth. When nothing else can. My heart never fails me.

sitting and daydreaming

I should be asleep. Yes I should. But I'm sitting up daydreaming (nightdreaming?) wondering about all the things in life that I would love to solve.

Do you ever do that? just sit and go over all sorts of things?

Tonight I am solving in my mind.

The ending can be any way I want it to be.

Pumpkin love

Pumpkin love
Originally uploaded by **{{LisaLisaLisa}}**

I just love this time of year. Overnight last night it just turned into fall. Just like that. One minute it was summer and Indian summer and them voila...just like that......FALL. Crisp. Cool. Clear Blue Skies. YUM.

I love both spring and fall. The color is a big part of it. Every time I drive by a brilliant tree full of amazing color I want to screech to a halt, jump out and take it's picture. Of course that isn't possible so I try to gawk at it as much as possible because I am fully aware that it goes fast. Like a sun setting it's here one minute and gone the next.

I actually let myself have a half slice of pumpkin pie (of course from Slice of Pie the best little Pie Place in the midwest!) and I love it just as much as I ever did. I talked with a friend of mine about tasting a pumpkin roll (the cream cheese kind) and she has changed her mind about pumpkin after that experience.

Yay for fall. Eat some pumpkin!

50 things....

1. Name: Lisa
2. Birthplace: Orlando, Florida
3. Hometown: Rolla, MO
4. Somewhere you wish you were: I'm where I wish I was...:)
5. Favorite TV show: Oh this is hard since I'm addicted to TV...sigh...probably Chelsea Lately right now....she makes me laugh EVERY day. I gotta give her props for that.
6. Something you love doing: reading
7. Person you wish you could see more often: oh lots...my relatives.
8. Favorite Smell: A baby after a bath.....
9. Something that changed your life: Taking photos in the delivery room....THAT is very amazing and it does change your life to see that miracle close up.
10. Sweet Pleasure: Clean Sheets
11. Favorite season: I have two...spring and fall
12. Best Holiday: Christmas
13. Favorite cartoon character: Spongebob
14. Worst Habit: oh jeez.....probably drinking coca cola...it's my CRACK.
15. Least favorite household chore: Cleaning the bathroom
16. Favorite actress: Holly Hunter
17. Favorite Actor: Kevin Spacey
18. Where would you like to live: I'd love to have a home in Mexico on the water off of Isla Mujeres.
19. Work out or Chill out: Chill out
20. Something unusual in your kitchen: A red sign that spells out the word HAPPY
21. Something unusual in your bedroom: do I have to answer this? Probably ME!
22. Home furnishings: a mixture of flea market goodies, no real "style" but eclectic stuff
23. Favorite Store: Target
24. a wish: to find my purpose
25. favorite ice cream: Pralines and Creme
26. Favorite local place: Kyoto for dinner...Slice of Pie for dessert
27. Have you read the bible: yes
28. All of it: no
29. Favorite childhood memory: probably Christmas time as a kid....
30. least favorite thing about yourself: I'm often misunderstood
31. worst school subject: math
32. best school subject: creative writing
33. Who makes you laugh the most: Greg
34. Best color: Pink
35. Regret: not trying harder with Erin
36. Hobby: scrapbooking, photography, reading, going to flea markets
37. Silly thing you say: gimme some sugar
38. Best event in the last year: Mel and Rick's wedding
39. Person you could call in the middle of the night: Christina
40. Wall color: well color if I could do that.....I get tired of ivory walls
41. Flower: gerbera daisy
42. Who's cooking: My moms
43. Favorite feeling: hahahaha well....I can't tell you that but a close second is laying my face on a cool fresh pillow case.
44. wood or metal: both
45. grocery store: Wal mart
46. More of: Money
47. Less of: Stress
48. More of: time
49. Less of: Frustration
50. What will you do today: relax

Whoa my Woes

Computer woes are some of my least favorite woes. Like a woe could be better than another woe. I suppose there are levels of woes like levels of sins. hah. This makes no sense.

At any rate this poor little schmucky hard drive is starting to bite the dust.

My point is the I'm impatient. For some time my computer has been just the biggest pain in the ass. One minute it will be puttering along just fine and then the next moment it won't upload a photo, or let me edit a photo and photos are my THING for goodness sake. Or open a browser...or any number of things.

I went to the walk in center at my university...one of the perks of working there and they diagnosed this little POS in under 30 minutes. At least they got it back up and running but it's got bad sectors. While I don't exactly know what this means ...it sounds like trouble to me. Oh they explained it alright but like stats about football...it's nothing I care to actually KEEP in my brain and remember.

Thank goodness it's under a warrenty. I swear to Pete if I go into Staples and they tell me the warrenty expired like..um...yesterday or something I am going to lose it.

My goal is to have the hard drive replaced if possible and then teach myself photoshop. Yeah I know. I'm behind the times but I think amazing things will happen once I know how to use that little gem. I have a feeling (like other things) as soon as I figure it out...there will another whiz bang program that is even better...then I'll be five years behind on learning it also. Sigh.

Maybe I should make a goal to stay UP on all things photographic. HELLO.

Meanwhile I really miss posting on Flickr. Flickr rocks my world. As do my flickr peeps. There is nothing more fun than going in and seeing what my contacts are up to. The ideas I get from them are endless.

so I'll report back soon. Hopefully with a brand new Hard Drive baby!

The Queen of the DVR

Since moving into my duplex I have become a major league Queen of the DVR. Who knew? I mean honestly WHO knew? Wow. I had no idea.

The freedom. The hours and hours of watching only what I want. Not fighting over the remote or scrambling around trying to fight the VCR and get it to record one of my shows. Could I ever program a VCR? um....not so much no.

I, ladies and gentlemen, am the Queen of the DVR. And I am addicted. Yes it's true.

There's Chelsea lately which is pretty much Chelsea all the damn time now. God I love that show. I even love it so much I watch RERUNS of Chelsea and yes I admit it. I ogle over her little nugget boy Chuy. Chewie, Chui, (Chewwy). That girl has the sarcastic comedic timing of oh I don't know what. But it works. So it's not lately it's all the damn time.

The girls next door may as well be my freaking roommates. I can tell you where Holly's from, What Bridgets dogs name is and what Kendra's butt looks like molded out of white chocolate.
Yes, it's true. Do I think Hef is actually doing all three of those girls? Hell no. Mostly I just wonder one thing......I would just like to know why ANYONE would think it might be amusing to put Kendra in front of the camera so we could listen to that god forsaken laugh of hers.....oh puhhhlease.

I am mostly addicted to HBO and SHOWTIME. I have to say....I adore Weeds, I wait for Californication, I long for Dexter, and I guffaw over Penn and Teller's Bullshit. I ADORE my pay channels. I will go hungry before I give them up. Seriously.

And let me tell you what...I don't care if the enquirer is reporting a rift between Oprah and Dr. Phillip McGraw....what one of them can't cure me of... surely to God the other will be able to.

At some point I just have to go to sleep at night. Being late for work more than two days a week is totally unacceptable.

Moderation people....moderation....

Signed,
The Queen of the DVR