When you are in a situation and other people tell you how to handle it...it's not as easy as they might think. There are always complications. You can have almost the same set of circumstances as another person but when you look at them...they seem entirely different.
Recently I realized that I should not be the judge of anyone but myself. None of us know how we are going to handle a situation and we all do the best we can at the time it's happening. It might be so easy for your best friends to tell you what to do and how to do it. But they aren't you. Even if they have lived something similar.
The interesting part for me is that an opinion that I might have held 10 years ago may not still be true. THAT amazes me. It's true what people say. You do get wiser as you get older. I used to LAUGH at that statement thinking I was just plenty smart at the age I was but ohhhh I had no idea. No idea that time and circumstances could change everything about the way I look at something.
Lessons learned the hard way are LIFE LESSONS. Some people learn their lessons easier than others with hardly a blip on the radar of stress or discomfort. I don't seem to be one of those people. I seem to continue to be faced with very very similar things in life over and over. Obviously my life has everything to do with learning these lessons even if I have to re-do them a jillion times and then get slapped between the eyes one more time for good measure.
Take marriage for example. hahahaha (maniacal laughter) I so totally SUCK at being married. It's true. I have realized this over the years that I'm not successful at it. For those of you that have been successful at marriage for ANY length of time...you should be damn proud of yourselves. Especially if you have any kinds of complications whatsoever. (which we all do)
I think I'm not tough enough. I'm not kind enough. I'm not patient enough. I'm not tolerant enough. I'm not selfless enough. I have a strong need to retreat and lick my wounds when the train derails. I am just stubborn enough to stay in the wound licking position for much longer than others think I should.
I'm not a bad person. I just don't do some things well. Isn't that how we all are? Like for example...I don't draw well. I doodle like a champ but actually drawing...HELL NO. Am I creative? well yes I am. But only in certain ways.
I am starting to feel that way about my relationships in life....can I be married well? HELL NO...but am I loving and fun and sexy? well yes I am.
See there?